January can be a lonely time for people. There can be a let-down from the busy-ness of seeing everyone over the holidays to seeing very few people this month. John talks about how challenging it can be to make friends as adults. He shares some ideas of where to make friends and how to sustain friendships.
When we are lonely, we do what we can to self-soothe. Some people do this by excessive shopping 🛍 , eating 🥫 , or drinking 🍺 . All these activities are things that may make us feel better in the short run, but they don’t connect us with others. Humans NEED connection.
Others will address their loneliness by online activities like scrolling social media, reading the news, and gaming 🎮. Most of the time this doesn’t fulfil the need for connection either. Best case scenario, it takes the focus off the fact that we’re lonely and preoccupies our mind so that we don’t actually feel it. What we may not realize is how it is impacting us financially.
As we attempt to solve our loneliness, we spend enormous amounts of time and money trying to control how we feel instead of coming from a place of essence and being open to opportunities to connect with people all around us. (for more on essence, reach out to Life Coach, Jen Westra) Whether you’re standing in line at the grocery store, in a waiting area at a doctor’s office, or a part of a bible study, the opportunities to connect with people exists.
One of these brilliant women, who identifies as an introvert invited us to join her for tea. It was such a great experience. We had genuine conversations, we learned from each other, and the tea and treats were good too!
What does it cost to build these connections? It takes courage and vulnerability. As my colleague, Esther Liddell says, “be open to receiving.” Are you open to receiving and participating in connection? Are you willing to do something different to meet the other person, or does it have to be your way or the highway? How flexible are you willing to be as you nurture a potential friendship?